The other day as I walked by my kids, who were, as usual, watching an episode of The Office with one eye and looking at something on another iDevice with the other one, it struck me that summer is almost over and this is pretty much what they’ve been doing for the past 60 days.
Super impressive, right?
I imagined their new teachers asking them what they did over the summer and the only answer of real value that they’d be able to give would be, “flossed.”
When I taught fourth grade (way back when cell phones were the size of bread loaves before we really knew what Clinton did with his cigars) I’d have my students write a letter on the first day of school telling me how they spent their summer.
Real original, I’m aware, but it gave me a little bit of insight into what kinds of kids my new students were by letting me know what they liked to do and how they spent their non-school time.
So the other day I got to wondering what my girls’ letters would look like if they’d been students in my class.
And what I came up with sure as hell would have given me insight.
What I Did on my Summer Vacation
by my kids
This summer was awesome. I did a ton of cool things and learned a lot.
In June I got a new SIMS game where you can make mermaids and go scuba diving in the ocean! I spent lots of time every day making new characters and watching them get mauled by sharks. It was super educational. Who knew that sharks are just as likely to attack a mermaid as they are a human? And that mermaids bleed red blood? I also designed some cool houses. Like 183 of them. Since I’m thinking of one day designing giant houses with many rooms that do not connect and backyards that contain every recreational item there possibly is, it was time well spent.
As you can imagine, social media took up a lot of my time. I made sure to keep up with #selfiesunday, #mancandymonday, #transformationtuesday and #throwbackthursday every week on Instagram, and also found time to post lots and lots of photo collages of cute baby animals. I had fun making absurdly short and meaningless videos on Vine and Instagram, and even more fun becoming proficient at the app “VideoStar”, where I made a bunch of funny videos of myself singing along to my favorite songs. I also Snapchatted myself doing all kinds of interesting things like drinking frappuccinos, staring at my phone screen, and holding my cat. #technology
It was exhausting keeping up with the boys from One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer as they made their way across the United States on their tour, but I managed to keep track of them 24/7 by following their constant Twitter updates. And even though I went to their concert and got to see them LIVE, I still found it necessary and an important use of my time to watch fuzzy YouTube videos and look at pictures that other people took at the concerts in different cities until my eyes bled.
I also kept up with Desiree’s compelling and dramatic love life on The Bachelorette each week. I learned a lot about insincere and dishonest guys, tight abs, and that settling for second best is perfectly fine if the guy is offering you a four carat diamond ring.
In mid-July our good family friends came to visit and my friend Abby introduced me to The Office. I was instantly obsessed! We watched most of the first season together and then I binge-watched the rest of the entire series in about three weeks. That’s 201 episodes! I was proud of my stamina and perseverance!
I caught up on a lot of sleep this summer. Even though I stayed up until the wee hours practically every night, I slept in until 10 or 11 a.m. Don’t worry! And the best thing about sleeping until almost lunchtime is that you can eat half a box of Reese’s Puffs in one sitting and it counts as both breakfast and lunch (and if you tweet that out you get a lot of retweets!).
So as you can see, my summer was very exciting and productive. Other than having a totally fun time, I really learned a lot about myself: 11 hours is the perfect amount of sleep for me, I want to marry a guy just like Jim, and I take a really good selfie with my cat.
As you can see, they’re gonna make a super positive first impression in a couple of weeks.
While everything in the above “essay” is (sadly) true, my girls did spend time doing a few other things this summer: they read a ton of books, tubed on the lake with each other every weekend, wrote new stories as well as continued working on books they started writing last summer, hung out with friends, hung out with me and their dad, and, most importantly—as next summer my 17yo will be flying the coop and going to college—they spent quality time with each other. And if that QT involves laughing hysterically at The Office together for hours on end, then that’s just fine with me.
Okay, fine, it doesn’t. But it will bring you welcome distraction from whatever it is you are currently avoiding doing by being on the computer.
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How I spent My Summer Vacation
Our summer vacation commenced on the 15th of May. Our teachers had given us home work for the vacation. I was very much anxious to finish it soon. So, I sat up day and night and at last got to the end of it.
Last year my uncle had promised to call me to Srinagar in the summer vacation. So I was eagerly waiting for a letter from my uncle. On 26th May, I received a letter from him. I took no time to get ready and before the night fell I was in the train bound for Pathankot.
From Pathankot, I got into a bus and the next morning I was in Srinagar. Krishan my uncle’s son was already there to receive me. He took me to his house where my uncle and aunt received me warmly. I was pleased in their company but I enjoyed myself more in the company of my cousin, for the very next day we went out for a walk. We saw beautiful natural scenery. The high peaks c0vered with clouds the winding paths in the hills the tall trees the beautiful gardens and lakes with house boats and shikaras plying on them were sights for the gods to see. She would not like to feast his eyes on these beauties of Nature? I feel that science has done wonders in modern times, but with all the progress of science no man has been able to produce any master piece that can be a rival to the beauties of Nature.
Kashmir is situated in the north of India. It is surrounded by highly walls of mountains. The climate is naturally colder than that of Delhi. Many people had flocked there during the summer to seek shelter from the burning rays of the sun in the plains. Some had come to Sulphur lake at their health.
WE went to the Sulphur Lake at Tatta Pani. The water for the lake is the best remedy for all kinds of skin diseases. The Shalimar and the Nishat Bagh with wonderful chenar trees, the Dal lake with pink lilies are truly the masterpieces of creation. We often hired pink a shikara and enjoyed boating for a long time ion the Dal Lake Many rich people hire house boats and pass their summer in them. We saw their floating gardens. Some planks were joined together and were set afloat on water. They were covered with earth, enough for vegetables to grow. That was an interesting sight.
Fruits were very cheap there. We daily took pears and apples to our fill. They were very congenial to our health as well as delicious to taste.
I had gone to Srinager for the first time. Therefore, most of my time I passed in seeing different scenes and sights of Nature. It was with a heavy heart that I left Srinagar and came back to Delhi. A week was left to the reopening of the school. Since a few sums were still left to be done, I set to work immediately. I took help from my friend and finished the home task within four days. It appeared as if the vacation had passed to soon.
Essay No. 2
How I Spent The Summer Vacation
Long vacation are necessary for students because after hard work and mental strain they need rest. In schools and colleges vacation is allowed after examination. Students overstrain themselves and so they grow feeble and are exhausted. Vacations recharge their battery so that they have renewed interest in their studies after a long vacation.
Our school was closed on 14th of May for the summer vacation. On the same day I packed my luggage. I caught the first train bound for Saharanpur. I reached my house in the evening.
Next day my friends came to meet me. In the evening I went for a walk with them. I remained busy with them for many days. On 30th of May I received a letter from my elder brother. He asked me to come to Agra. I started on the same night and reached Agra in the morning.
I spent many days visiting all historical place. The great historical city charmed my heart. The famous Taj made me spellbound. I visited Akbar’s fort. It reminded me of the past glory of Mughal Empire. I often used to bathe in the holy water of the Yamuna. Here I passed the most pleasant time. I had all enjoyment and no work to do.
In the middle of June, I came back to my house. On 17th June, my mother and I paid a visit to my maternal grandfather. He lives in a big town. He is an old man of about seventy. He is hale and hearty. He took me in his lap. He made much of me. He made many inquiries about my father. No sooner did my cousins see me than they ran to me. They embraced me one by one. They at once ran into the house and informed maternal grandmother about our arrival.
Maternal grandmother rushed to welcome us. At our sight she was wild with joy. She gave me sweets top eat. At night she would give many pieces of advice when I slept with her. Thousand and one time she warned me against bad society. Sometimes maternal grandfather would tell me stories of his boyhood. Here I made some boys my friends. We would play many rural games. The Gilli Balla gave me great pleasure. We would take bath in the cold water of the canal. The sight of vast fields and great gardens made me think of Almighty’s greatness. In the morning I would do my studies under the guidance of my maternal grandfather who is an English hand. I would give two hours daily to my books.
I was extremely weak in English. So I started read in short stories in correct English. Apart from this I studied general books, newspapers and periodicals. In this manner I increased my general knowledge. I was now able to talk fluently in the company of food students. I gave up inferiority complex and I could discuss on current events and burning topics of the derived great pleasure from the reading of the books.
By and by holidays were coming to a close. I was looking forward to the day when I would once again go to the college for my studies. I had a satisfaction that I was physically and mentally fit to prosecute my studies. The long vacation did immense good to my mental and physical growth.